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It’s becoming increasingly common for children to share that they are “seeing” people or have an imaginary friend. More often than not, this is spirit.
Until the age of five or six years old, we live a very intuitive life. We eat when we’re hungry, sleep when we’re tired, and play with or touch whatever we feel we’re feeling drawn to. Then adults step in with great intentions. They inform us when to eat and sleep, and what we should or shouldn’t touch or play with. Then school starts, where we’re taught tasks that strengthen the left side of our brain, good ol’ logic.
So how can you explain to a child what they are seeing/hearing and encourage their intuitive development while still maintaining some structure and a harmonious home?
Although I encouraged my children by doing the things I mention below, I didn’t say anything to them until they mentioned it to me. My youngest started seeing spirit at around four years old. One day he came home from school and said, “Mommy, I saw Mrs. J’s husband standing behind her today.” (His teachers husband had passed a few weeks prior.”
I explained to him that he has a gift like mommy and some people don’t understand it but that’s okay. I explained that it might not be a good idea to share with his teacher what he saw because it might make her sad in class. To my surprise Nicholas said, “Mommy, obviously!”
I told Nicholas how special he is, “You’re so loving and nice to others and you’ve received a precious gift.” I also explained that he didn’t have special powers. And how mommy has the same gift.
I went on to tell him how it’s really important that he cleanse his chakras. He said, “My whaaatt??”
I said they’re special balls of energy that spirits can see! So we need to keep them as bright as we can!
He said, “Okay but how do I do that?”
I said, “At bedtime, I will help you. Then whenever you’re ready you can do it all by yourself!”
That night I made up a chakra clearing for him.
While he was lying in bed, I would kneel beside his bed and say, “Close your eyes and take a big deep breath in… now blow it all out (repeat breathing three times.) Now I want you to see a beautiful red crystal ball at your feet, shiny and magical!
I went through all of his chakras. (I modified my chakra meditation for his age.)
Red – at feet
Orange – at top of legs
Yellow – at belly button
Green – at heart
Light blue – at neck
Dark blue – at forehead
Purple – on top of head
When we got to his crown and I said, “You have a big magical jellybean at the top of your head, open the top of it and let all of the sparkles of sugar from the sky fall in. Then close the top tight so it doesn’t spill while you’re playing tomorrow.”
After about a week of doing our nightly meditation, he came in from school yelling, “Mom, this really works!”
I said, “What does?”
He said, “Our magic jellybean.”
I said, “Oh good! I’m so happy for you.”
He said, “Ya mommy, my balls have been spinning all day!”
I said, “Ohhhh… you know what Nicholas, maybe we should make them magical stars!” He liked that idea. So that’s what he did.
By the time he was seven, he had earned his Reiki Two certificate. He did several readings because he felt he “had to”. Then like most seven year olds, he got bored with it all, moved on to something new.
Here are some tips and suggestions (and tweaks!) that have worked in our home.
Bedtime can be brutal for the intuitive child. Sleeping with a light on may seem counterproductive but it brings a level of comfort that is indescribable.
Offer Two Choices
Intuitive children love following what they’re drawn to and often rebel against rule. They do not like to do things for as a means to an end! So bargaining and/or bribing will not typically work. To avoid the power struggle altogether, offer two choices whenever possible. And by giving children the freedom to make the choice, it also strengthens their self-confidence and encourages them to trust their intuition.
You want them in bed at 7:30 pm.
Say this: “Would you like to go to bed at 7:15 or 7:30 pm?”
Instead of: “Your bedtime is at 7:30 pm.
End the argument over “I don’t like that.” at dinner.
Say this: “You can have what I made or choose a simple, no cooking, favorite of theirs as their one alternative, such as cereal.” – (Probably not the healthiest, but that’s okay and they’ll change to a new favorite after a month.)
Instead of: “I’m not a short order cook!”
Want them to make healthier food choices.
Say this: “You can one healthy snack and one junk food. Would you like your apple now or your Doritos?
Instead of: “Have an apple first.”
(You’re the adult so use that to your advantage!)
The Fearful Child
Intuitive children are often afraid of things that other children their age don’t mind such as being alone, shutting the bathroom door when showering, going up to the attic, or walking home from a neighbors house. Intuitive children can often feel as though someone is always with them, watching them, and/or following them. They’re not just paranoid. Being left alone can also be extremely frightening for the intuitive child. I remember Nicholas instantly going into complete panic mode after I told him that I would watch him from my front steps as he was walking to our neighbors house, only two houses away! He immediately started crying and was so fearful that I couldn’t even explain to him that I would walk with him instead.
Be Honest and Believe
The intuitive child will know if you’re not being truthful (even when you kind of are.) Try to be as honest as you can be. You do not need to get into specifics but if you’re child asks you what is wrong and you say say nothing (but something really is bothering you and you prefer not to share with them) they’ll know you’re not being truthful.
A better approach is to reply with something along the lines of, “Yes, something is bothering me today and I’m working through it.”
And don’t be surprised if your child shares with you information with you that they “should’t” know. The intuitive child may also share with that he or she is “seeing”, “feeling” or “hearing” someone or something (such as, music or voices), please believe them. What might not seem real or logical to you is very real to them.
Foster Without Questioning
If you’re child approaches you with details or messages from a deceased family member, try to refrain from getting excited and asking lots of questions. Most likely they’re sharing the information with you exactly the way they received it. Spirit doesn’t have a voice box like us and communication isn’t black and white. Encourage them to keep a special journal where they’re able to write freely. (You can peak while they’re at school!)
A few suggestions for encouraging their intuitive side.
Encourage Creative Activities
Activities with repetitive motion activate your intuitive process.. such as coloring, play dough, painting, making/painting Christmas ornaments, or cooking with you (Believe it or not even older kids can’t resist play dough for some reason.)
Play “Pick A Color”
During this exercise, there is no right or wrong and kids will play for hours (with older ones and each other.)
>> Stand across from one another, facing each other.
>> Tell your child that you’re thinking of a color.
>> Place their hands in yours while thinking of your color.
>> Tell them take a deep breath inhale and exhale.
>> Ask them to close their eyes and say out loud or whisper, “Tell/show me, (mom/dad/brother’s) color.”
Play Memory Games
You can play the old fashion board games or there are tons on apps for Ipad/Iphones.
This is actually a great game for enhancing a child’s right side of brain – creativity and intuition.
Children as young as two, love crystals. They will show you exactly which ones they’re drawn to. It’s always interesting to look at the properties of the ones they’re pointing at.
*Many crystals are small so please never leave a small child unattended with a crystal.
These days, children are so much wiser. As the veil continues to become thinner between here and the afterlife, children are more in-tune than ever. Supporting them will not only lead them to having a stronger connection to the afterlife, it will also lead them to having a better connection to themselves, more confidence, and less fears and anxieties.